Here’s the crux of it all. Since 2019, I’d been struggle with changes in my body. I’d had a hysterectomy in 2017 due to endometriosis. I was chalking up these new physical problems to my body adjusting to my surgery.
My legs would hurt. My hips would hurt. My feet would hurt. There’d be days when I could hardly walk after a day at work. I’d head immediately for bed because that was the only place I found some comfort.
After testing, I was diagnosed with a very nondescript autoimmune disorder. It was a very confusing time. One doctor indicated I had lupus. Another doctor insisted it was not lupus, but just a thyroid disorder. All I did know was that my quality of life was going downhill fast. 15 pounds came on easily.
Since 2019, I gained a total of 30 pounds. For someone who’s struggled with body dysmorphia her entire life, my mental state was tanking. Fast.
I was no longer exercising due to pain. I tried to lift free weights, but every with that, my body would become exhausted entirely too quickly and I’d feel the pain increase in the days that followed.
In late 2022, I changed doctors. Once my legs and ankles started resembling those of an overdue pregnant woman, I couldn’t go on with things as they’d been. And there was no way I was going to subject myself to wearing compression hose daily (as had been suggested by my previous healthcare provider). Hard pass.
My labs were completely redone – a full panel. Including things that hadn’t been previously checked. Turns out, yes I do in fact have a thyroid disorder, but yes, it is Lupus with symptoms of Sjogren’s Syndrome.
The plan? Stop taking a few of my prescription medications and switch to supplements that were specifically formulated to target deficiencies.
NOW: My labs are improving, but slowly. The swelling in my legs and ankles is gone.
BUT: I’m still gaining weight. I am angry. I am ashamed. I am embarrassed. I’ve never weighed this much in my life, save when I was pregnant.
I turn 50 in 150 days. It is my goal to lose 50 lbs before July 12. It’s a lofty goal, I realize. But beginning this journal/blog/confessional is an attempt to keep myself on target.
Alyventures 